An Exhaustive List of Reasons to Move to Berlin

Be happy as hell and bring back my sanity

26.- It would be easier to pretend I don’t give a fuck and couldn’t care less.

25.- People take off their shoes when entering someone else’s home.

24.- Historical moments go down to posterity with a picture of a kiss.

24.- Historical moments go down to posterity with a picture of a kiss.

22.- Pastries for 20cts. = Cheap breakfast.

Or being able to maintain your vital signs and proper sugar levels in times of need.

21.- There are ducks swimming in the Spree. Last animal I saw in the Llobregat was a fish. Dead and floating, motionless, downstream.

20.- There’s a wall somewhere, with paintings and stuff.

19.- Second-hand shops like… EVERYWHERE. And they don’t seem to be considered “Vintage” yet (which here means “We will charge you, like, an unreasonable amount of money for whatever crap we stole from Humana, just because it’s so retro-ish yadda yadda yadda”). Clean, awesome, cheap second-hand clothes.

18.- There, silence seems easier to bear with.

17.- They don’t give a fuck if all of a park’s vegetation is dead because of a winter cold.

In spring it will bloom again on its own, and it will be awesome.

16.- People only stare at you for the necessary amount of time to process if they know you, you’re a threat or if you’re worth of their attention; which usually is like a long fraction of a second less than the time people spend staring each other here in Barcelona.

Unless they really stare at you.

15.- They value sunlight. They really value sunlight. And the whole city cheers the event on a Saturday morning and take the streets, uplifting the mood for any plan you may have.

14.- There’s this tragic sense of existence, something you can actually feel in the streets, in people’s faces, even in public laughter. It’s something real, dense, material. Like moist varnishing everything (from cobbled alleys to this little dog in the Tram) in a comforting and assuring gloom.

13.- There is Mustafa’s Gemüse Kebap in Kreuzberg. Best Vegetarische Dürum I’ve ever tasted. I really don’t know how the hell they do it but I swear I’ve dreamt about it more than once (and twice) ever since. And they don’t put falafel or the usual stuff you would expect. There is this combination of roasted / grilled / fried vegetables dressed with some kind of sour creamy sauce that is absolutely delicious and somehow addictive.

If you think I’m exaggerating, go see for yourself how people wait in queue for more than AN HOUR in the street to eat a 3€ kebap wrapped in aluminum paper.

Plus, a kebap stand with a website like that can’t be bad, right?

[Edit: A kebap stand with THIS video ad can’t be bad, right? RIGHT?!]

12.- You don’t have to punch in any public transportation as long as you have your ticket with you, there are no access doors nor turnstiles, and in U-Bahn or S-Bahn you’re usually like, literally, 5 steps away from the station entrance to the platform (needless to say Tram).

I can’t overstate how important this is for me. It’s a deal breaker. If I had to compare (God forbid) my longstanding love-hate relationship with public transportation with any kind of long-term relationship; turnstiles, baffle gates and punching machines would be like pale pink underwear, eating with your mouth open or being a complete asshole to waiters. You do it? Then NO THANKS.

I’ll take a walk instead.